Friday, 8 August 2008

Oktoberfest Training-Part 3 (Using Mobile Phones)

Part 2 of your Oktoberfest Training Package showed you how to improve and strengthen your drinking arm.

Part 3 of your training takes you through the use of mobile phones (=cell phone for the Americans, =handy for the Germans).
As we have experienced at previous Oktoberfests, it can be very frustrating for you trying to have a telephone conversation at the Oktoberfest when the oompah band is too loud (at leat you know the words now!) and the other 8000 festers just don't care that you are on the phone!

So at Bier-Mania! we believe that the old motto 'train hard-talk easy' is very appropriate-this training guide will help you at least maybe appreciate that trying to have a phone conversation at the Oktoberfest is futile and/or at least realise no-one will ever know what you were trying to say anyway.

If you do however succeed in your training then no-one is going to be impressed except your mobile phone company.
  1. Get your mobile phone out.
  2. Put in all the numbers (if you don't have them already) of everyrone you vaguely know and/or haven't contacted for at least a year.
  3. If you don't have any people that fit into this category then distant relatives or mums, dads, sisters etc would be just as appropriate.
  4. You now have 6 weeks to hit your local disco every Friday and/or Saturday. We suggest you only go once a week otherwise you will have no money left for the Oktoberfest.
  5. Where were we?
  6. Stand close to the speakers at the disco and phone as many people as possible on that list until your friends tell you they are leaving.
  7. Say what a great time you are having.Say how you wish they were here.
  8. Tell them you miss them.
  9. Good luck!
This is excellent training for the Oktoberfest. The next time you talk to those people they will still have no idea who rang them (on your phone!), what you said or where you were.